


Indoctrinated

by tinylittlebrain



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst (always angst), Ben still has a very... passionate bent to his Light, Dark Rey, F/M, Force Bonds, Jedi Ben Solo, Learn to hate Snoke in new different ways, Rey is basically V.I.K.I, Rey's more Jedi than he is tbh, Reylo - Freeform, Snoke is dead, but still alive in Rey's head, deprogramming, her logic is undeniable, the Force works how I say it works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 22:06:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11587116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinylittlebrain/pseuds/tinylittlebrain
Summary: Snoke and the Order have long since fallen, but nonetheless both remain very much alive within the labyrinth that is Rey Kenobi's mind.---tumblr: tinylittlebrain.tumblr.com





	Indoctrinated

**Author's Note:**

> This has been bouncing around in my head for some time - Dark, brainwashed Rey and her complicated relationship with her own emotions and Ben Solo.
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts.
> 
> \- tiny

Ben sighed.

It would have been so much easier if she were like all the other Jedi – their counterparts were vile, _evil_ men and women, sadistic and cruel and beyond redemption. But no, no that would be too simple.

That would not be Rey.

Rey had been a latecomer, the _latest_ comer to Snoke’s Knights, but surely the most formidable. Near as they could tell Snoke had picked her up in her mid to late teens off Jakku and… _twisted_ her. But not in the good ol’ fashioned “I’m irredeemably evil” way either – no, Rey was less of a Knight and more of a…

_Droid._

_No, a robot._

Droids had some personality, droids would get bored by their surroundings, droids would have _moved._ But here was Rey in over one hundred days of incarceration and she had not moved, not one inch. Even Uncle Luke _twitched_ , from time to time. But no, nothing. It would have been impressive, or indeed it was impressive, but Ben was wary of what lay before him, stiffening as he used the Force to crash the surveillance link.

What passed in this room was between himself and Rey.

 _Do not forget what she did_.

She had been the one to strike Han down, his father. He had _watched_. But he had also felt that savage pressure on the girl’s mind, that evil presence that erased the all too poignant doubt and fear that had graced her features moments ago. Once again Ben wondered what part of Rey and what part of Snoke had been responsible for that, for even now, even after it all he did not think her truly capable of it.

“You’re wrong.”

Ben jumped.

“ _I_ killed your father. He was disruptive, and his death served to unnerve you. That action had purpose.” Rey’s eyes had opened, skimming his thoughts.

“And hello to you too, Rey.” Ben spoke. “How nice of you to deign to chat to me.”

She had not acknowledged anyone else, never _sought_ anyone else. His Mother had summoned him as a last resort, though any information she had was likely useless now. Still, she would not be executed, not now, and Ben would not have tolerated anything more regardless.

_Everyone else had a choice, a moment to turn. You didn’t have that Rey._

She sensed the timbre of his thoughts.

“DON’T. _PITY ME_!” She screeched, before taking a breath to speak again. “Release me Ben Solo, or kill me. I will not be turned. I will not be saved. Release me, or _kill me_.”

Ben took a deep breath. “You survived Jakku, but you cannot tolerate a Resistance cell for a few months? That’s… _dramatic_.”

Rey rolled her eyes, and let a long breath of frustration out through her nose.

“I do not renounce anything.”

 “You killed Snoke.” Ben spoke carefully.

A very long pause.

“Snoke was no longer following his directive, so I eliminated him. I did _not_ eliminate the First Order.”

Ben sighed.

So this was how she wanted to play it. Of _course_ this was how she wanted to play it. Nothing was ever so simple with Rey. Ben smirked.

“That is _not_ how I remember that day.”

Deliberately, his finger stroked his bottom lip, expression deliberately suggestive. He watched small blotches mottle the girl’s skin as her ears pinked.

“That was a miscalculation. A side-effect of spending too much time in your head.” She spat, though her voice quavered.

_Taking refuge you mean._

Ben suppressed a shudder at the memory of Rey dying on the floor, screaming in agony as her ‘Master’ punished her insubordination. She had come to _him_ then. Then and only then had she acknowledged the Bond, skittering into his consciousness and _clinging_ to it. He’d seen things, terrible things as Rey’s mind began to unravel in death – the wall had momentarily broken down and in that second she’d transmitted _everything_. Every indignity and injustice, all the unfair twists and turns of her miserable life, and for what?

Not hatred, not revenge, not even for _pity_.

_~Remember me.~_

Ben’s heart _wrenched_ at the memory and the intensity of the loneliness that had accompanied it. It had fueled him, certainly not in a Luke-approved way, to break Snoke’s hold over him and strike him down, Rey delivering the final blow. It had driven him to crash his lips onto hers, yes, but he had not been the one to tangle fingers in his hair, to keen into his body, to gasp his name.

That was all Rey.

“That day–”

Rey cut him off. “–I don’t wish to discuss it.”

But Ben continued. “The things you showed me… _Rey_ I–”

He began to choke, and Rey’s eyes were wild with rage.

“You will never, _ever_ speak of that again Solo, or I will kill you.”

They stared each other down for a few seconds before she released him.

Ben took a few deep breaths, eyes boring into hers. He had not fought back, but was tempted to press her further, before deciding against it. He would acquiesce to her, for now.

“You tampered with the Force cuffs.” He coughed, tone slightly awed.

The tension broke.

“ _Obviously._ ” She paused. “Although I’ve yet to bypass Ysalamir.”

Ben laughed.

“What?” Rey was perplexed.

“It’s just. _Now_ you’re joking? Now? Seriously?”

“How was that a joke?”

Ben sighed, allowing silence to fall for a time as he actually took a second for his eyes to rove over her form. As ever, Rey looked deceptively young, naïve and vulnerable.

_And beautiful._

And beautiful. Yes, there was no denying it. Rey was generally acknowledged to be the most attractive member of the First Order high command, though many also thought her to be the craziest. Though it wasn’t very Jedi-like, Ben frequently found himself ‘correcting’ them.

He caught Rey’s eyes wandering too, and wondered if retrying his earlier tack might yet bear fruit. Of course, he was also curious about this particular element of their… _relationship_.

“Do you have the dreams too?” He kept his voice quieter than usual, subdued.

Deliberately, he projected his memories to her, of her, of _them_ – from gentle fingers stroking cheeks, sweet words whispered in ears to writhing, arched backs and pleasured moaning, him worshiping at the apex of her thighs while she–

“ _Enough_!”

Rey’s cheeks were flushed, and Ben found himself hard already, carried away by her presence. When she spoke again however, Rey seemed distressed.

“Please don’t do that again. The Bond– I don’t want it.”

But he caught the thought’s thread, Snoke’s past words to her whispering in his mind.

_“See apprentice, what your weakness has wrought? Take comfort in the fact that he has no interest in you beyond the fulfillment of his base needs.”_

Ben was caught somewhere between mortification and anger. The latter was not only at Snoke but at himself – he had allowed his curiosity to get the better of him and in doing so had overlooked Rey’s masterful ability to turn any kind of outward emotion into a means of punishing herself.

“Is that what you think? ‘Base needs’?”

He tried to keep the rage, the derision from his tone. That was not for her.

Rey was silent.

_That’s a yes._

When he next spoke, his voice hissed. “Had I wished to, I have access to outlets. What I feel for you is not base. A Force Bond is not base. I have thought about you every day since we first met.”

“Not enough however to wait less than 112 days to report to this cell.” Rey stated, seemingly bored.

Ben tried to probe the source of that sentiment, but Rey’s side of the Bond was clamped shut, on lockdown. Was it insecurity?  He felt a pang of pity.

_This cell is smaller than the AT-AT._

“I was at your trial. I wanted to be here.”

_With you._

Rey sneered. “Did you beg for my life? Beg the Senate to spare the girl who murdered Han Solo?”

“Yes.” Ben answered honestly. “I will always beg for you.”

He couldn’t react to her words, give her what she wanted. Although the memory lanced him, this was a _good_ sign. Rey was not cruel by nature, and resorted to it only when her emotions were in flux, when the mask was slipping.

Her hands were shaking.

_My poor broken girl._

Rey’s nostrils flared, but she held herself back.

“Say it.” Ben encouraged.

“Can you not see my point? Your dedication to your own sordid passions completely blinds you from the truth.” She paused. “I’m not better than them… I’m worse.”

_The Knights._

She meant the Knights.

Those raping, primitive _animals_ , whose take on Snoke’s denial of the will of the individual was far less pure than Rey’s. After all, what did the suffering of an individual matter to the larger picture? If no single person meant anything, then why not indulge your most perverse fantasies? Ben’s fists curled at the memory of raiding a First Order bolt hole, of discovering the bodies of young men and women alike, bodies mangled by torture, throats slit as the two Knights that had occupied it fled.

Rey’s face paled.

~ _You would never do that. You have never been needlessly cruel.~_ Ben spoke in her mind.

_~That does not mean I’m not worse.~_

“I know.”

She would raze the galaxy if she believed it was the right the thing to do. She _had._ Rey was the only member of the First Order who had not professed any guilt for Hosnia, only regret that it was _necessary_. She was also the only one whom he believed was being honest, but that was much of a much.

“I’d do it again. You need to know I would do it again.” Rey whispered.

In fact, Ben was almost certain she _wouldn’t_ , not now, but that wasn’t the game. Rey was daring him to leave, to be disgusted with her, to reject her.

“It won’t work Rey.”

Without warning, he opened the Bond, briefly flooding her with his emotions for her until he could see her expression become pained. She _still_ did not believe.

“I won’t believe that the girl who saved me is evil. I–”

“–That wasn’t, I–”

His calm snapped. “ _No_ Rey! NO.” He took a breath, moving to her side of the interrogation table. “We are not playing this game Rey. Snoke put a disconnect in your head between what is said and what is heard. But I will not allow you to deny this.”

He was in her space, but she did not flinch.

_~This is not base.~_

Interestingly, Rey response to that was not to rage or reject but to nod, her cheeks slightly flushed, lips moist. Unbidden, he used his hand to stroke her cheek and again she did not shy away or jerk from his touch.

Perhaps this was what she needed. Direction. Orders. Perhaps it was easier to conduct this in extremes, in logic.

In _‘Rey’_.

“Why did you release Finn and Poe?”

_I know it was you who allowed them to escape._

Rey regarded him suspiciously, trying to figure his angle.

“ _Tell me._ ”

There was a long beat of silence before she spoke.

“I couldn’t countenance their screaming.” She whispered it like some foul secret, some brutal war crime.

_Oh Rey._

“How did Snoke react to that?”

Rey swallowed. “Order cannot show preference, cannot show compassion. Order is objective. Order is collective. I allowed my subjective preferences and weakness to rule my decision. I will not do it again.”

There it was again, the same repetition of dogma, her use of the present tense. As if she still were being commanded, still in Snoke’s cult. And yet, he would not drop his authoritative tone, not while it was working.

“He punished you.”

Very brutally, he knew. He recalled the dull ache that resided in his mind for days, the near-madness he’d experienced as Luke resorted to sedating him to stop him from simply following that cord that bound her, even as it was surely a lure to death.

Yet it had been muted, almost hidden from him.

“You blocked me out for that.” His voice was soft. “Why?”

Silence. Dangerous territory.

_You know why._

He changed tack then.

“Tell me about the dreams.”

Rey reddened. “You’ll need to be more specific.”

“Shall I show you?”

For a second, Rey regarded him very carefully, but answered, her tone once again deliberately bland. “The first were after Starkiller.” She paused. “At first, they were vengeful - I was frightened of you before then. You nearly killed me and, then they… changed.”

He couldn’t meet her eyes in that moment, for that memory shamed him, deeply. He had attacked a girl who had had no other choice but to act as she did, used her as an outlet for his rage and grief. It was exactly, _exactly_ what Snoke had wanted. It had terrified Rey, reinforced every foul notion of the Jedi the Muun had whispered to her. Isolated her more.

“The dreams changed after… after I reached out to your mind.”

He had become aware of the Bond through her nightmare, chasing her every night until he finally caught her, sobbing and and broken and begging her to forgive him. Even then, it had taken time for her to believe it was not a lie, a trick.

Ben continued. “You hid the Bond from Snoke, didn’t you? At first.”

She nodded.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“You _do_ know, Rey.”

“I…” Her expression darkened. “ _NO!_ ”

Everything shook as Rey exploded with rage.

“NO! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET _OUT_!”

Ben rose, and instantly Rey shrunk from him, flinching. It _wounded_ him, he knelt again, aware that she was curled tighter than ever, ready to lash out. This was clearly too much, too soon.

~ _Rey.~_

He reached a hand out, face inches from hers.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” He murmured the words softly, regarding her almost clinically, as she shivered under his touch, keening into him while her emotions stormed.

“You _will_.”

He moved his hand to press lightly, lighter than feathers, on her throat, and Rey _moaned._

_~Only if you want me to.~_

He felt shame pass through the Bond, humiliation. She knew it was unusual to respond this way to his words, to a mere touch, but she that it was weakness, that Snoke was right, that he was toying with her–

“–I’m _not_ mocking you, Rey.”

Her cheeks reddened, and the Bond narrowed once more, eyes firmly focused on the ground.

“Yes you are. You know I haven’t– you’ve… I know you affect me more than I affect you.”

“Is that what Snoke told you? That I’m manipulating you? Perhaps you’d _prefer_ that.” His voice lowered. “I dream of _nothing_ but you. I want _no one_ but you.”

_I love you._

“Rey, I–”

“–Don’t. Say. It. Please, please don’t say it.” She paused voice cracking. “You’re lying- you have to be lying.”

Ben’s nostrils flared, but he mastered himself. Snoke was dead. He could not kill him twice.

 _~Stop this.~_ She hissed in his head. _~Leave me alone.~_

_~Rey-~_

_~GET OUT!~_

The room shook, but it was a mere microcosm of the maelstrom within her.

“Whatever you wish.”

He obeyed, for now. It wasn’t like this was unexpected. Rey’s natural response to confusion, to her own emotion, to _anything_ that challenged Snoke’s dogma was to deny it. To convince herself that it was her weakness that made her doubt and not the inherent flaws of the First Order’s absolutism. Then it was to rage.

“You will learn not to be ashamed Rey, you will learn that this is not base.”

_You need a teacher._

~I hate you, Ben Solo.~

_I know._


End file.
